


The Passing Years

by EspejoNight28738



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas, Complicated Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Frenemies, Growing Up, M/M, Missing Scene, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, Post-デュラララ!!×２ 結 | Durarara!!x2 Ketsu, Raijin Days, drrr secret santa exchange 2019, the angst was an accident I couldn't help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspejoNight28738/pseuds/EspejoNight28738
Summary: He wondered what was Izaya doing, if he also felt alone. He wished he could ask him. After all the years, it was now he wanted to talk to the informant that had made his life a living hell. Really talk. Definitely, too late for that epiphany.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	The Passing Years

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bushybrows_99](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Bushybrows_99).



“I promised my beloved Celty I was going to hang out with my friends on Christmas, at her request. You can't cancel on my two hours before you are supposed to come, Shizuo.” Shinra had been repeating variations of that for the last ten minutes when Shizuo finally gave up.

“Fine! I'll go, but don't fucking complain then if I end up beating the shit out of the louse you call friend.” Really, Shizuo had no problem being with Shinra and Kadota for Christmas, but Izaya? What the hell was Shinra thinking?

“He promised to be in his best behaviour, and so did you. Besides, maybe this is an opportunity for you to make up and stop destroying school property any time you see each other. It's been five months since you met and half the school is already remodeled.”

Shizuo knew there was no way that would happen. The only existence of the stupid flea annoyed the shit out of him, but Shinra and Kadota kinda were his only friends, so he decided he could try not to commit murder that day.

The evening was… it was almost torture for Shizuo, but he didn't break anything, and Izaya had the decency to make his presence a little less annoying. Of course, the worst was yet to come, because in the stupid gift exchange Shinra had organized, he had to give Izaya a gift. Just his fucking luck.

“So what did Shizu-chan got me? I hope it's not contaminated of disgusting beast germs.” Only Izaya could insult someone with such an innocent, although fake, smile on his face. 

He just mumbled something that could have been a threat, and gave Izaya the box. For just a moment, just one second, he wished Izaya would like his gift. Even if he hated him, this was the first Christmas Shizuo spent with someone other than his family, so he would like to look fondly at the memory in the future.

“Uh, Shizu-chan, I knew your protozoic brain doesn't understand complex concepts easily, but I thought you knew I was a man, because I'm sure this came from the women section of a shop.”

It was really wishful thinking that Izaya could just accept the coat as a goddamn normal person and move on.

“Yeah, well, there was no 'flea' section in the store, so I did what I could. You should be grateful, now your dead won't be something as lame as hypothermia.”

Not that Shizuo noticed, but why the fuck didn't Izaya use a sweater or something? It was snowing out there and he had just a long-sleeve shirt.

Izaya was about to respond, when he seemed to think better of it. He got up and put the black coat on. It was slightly big on him, but Shizuo supposed he could still grow.   
He ignored the warmth inside of him at seeing Izaya pleased with the gift.

“What do you think, Dotachin? Shinra?”

Before either of them could really answer, Shizuo spoke up.

“You look stupid.” Izaya's smile looked almost genuine for a moment there, as if the comment had genuinely amused him.

“Well, it's a real shame you don't like it, because this is my new favorite coat. Thank you, Shizu-chan.” 

Shizuo though he said it just to reil him up, but it wasn't the case. Or if it was, it was a really dedicated way to annoy him, because no one saw Izaya without the coat on the outside in the years to come.

Stupid flea.

* * *

  
  


The next to Christmas were kind of the same deal. Then Shinra went to the university, and Shizuo didn't heard of Izaya for a few sweet years. And then the asshole tried to get him arrested. He swore he was going to kill the fucking louse.

His Christmas were a solitary affair. Kasuka was off filming some christmas special, and his parents had moved to the more rural part of the country. Shizuo pretended not to know it was because they feared someone connecting them to him.

So when he felt Izaya was in his city, it wasn't much of a problem deciding to go chasing him out. 

“Shizu-chan, don't you get tired of being so salvage all the time? You could let me go do my thing, it's Christmas Eve.” Asked Izaya, dodging just by little a trash can that flew his way.

“Or you could fuck off and let me enjoy my Christmas Eve, Izaya-kun.”

“Come on, Shizu-chan, we both know you haven't spent your holidays with anyone since we graduated. Only Shinra would have the bad taste of inviting over a monster.” He just didn't stop moving, and that was really getting on Shizuo's nerves.

It was only more infuriating that he still wore that black coat with the fluffy sleeves. The fact that everyone in Ikebukuro knew him from that stupid piece of cloth Shizuo had given him many years ago made him wanna puke. The only saving grace was that only Kadota and Shinra knew about that, and none of them were suicidal enough to try to spread the rumor.

“He already had the bad taste of inviting you.” In high school, Izaya would have laughed at that answer, but he didn't nowadays. Shizuo wasn't sure when it happened, but Izaya now got even angrier anytime Shizuo acted like they did in Raijin.

Stupid Izaya and his even more stupid mind games.

He didn't had to see Izaya to know a knife was coming his way. Predictable asshole.

Their fight extended to the first hours of the next day. They had run across the entire city at least a few times, leaving a path of destruction behind them, mostly on Shizuo's account.

But then, as if they hadn't been trying to kill each other for hours, Izaya turned back with a smile on his face.

“It was good to spent Christmas together again, Shizu-chan.” He said, and then turned in direction of Shinjuku.

Any other day, Shizuo would have keep on chasing him, but he realized then that it was the first time in years he hadn't felt lonely on Christmas, so he let it pass.

“Only the stupid flea...” Fortunately, no one was around to see something akin to fondness on his face. Nor that time, nor the next several years.

* * *

  
  


After that fight where Shizuo almost killed Izaya, the later disappeared without leaving a trace, just as Shizuo had wanted for so many years.

The first months, he hadn't even noticed. It wasn't like he saw Izaya all the time. Sometimes many months would take place between one encounter and another. There was only one day they met every years, and he had really tried not to think about it.

[What are you doing for Christmas, Shizuo?] He read in Celty's phone. They were in the park, enjoying the freedom of the night, where they could be without causing an escandal.

Shizuo though that Izaya was the reason everyone in this city was so interested in him. As he would learn he gained the new new of “The Demon of Ikebukuro”, that wasn't the true.

“Same as every year, I'll just be in my home watching movies or something.”

[That's good. Shinra made a comment about Izaya and you spending every Christmas fighting each other for the last years. I'm happy you can finally have a peaceful Christmas.]

Shizuo didn't even try to ask why did Shinra knew that, he didn't care. He just thanked Celty and parted to his house, he had job the next day after all.

He didn't know what to do with himself. He had wanted Izaya to leave him alone, he wanted pace. He had it now, he should be happy. This should be the best Christmas since he was a child, but it wouldn't. With three days ahead of him until the day, he knew he would feel lonely.

His parents were still away, Kasuka still had to work, Shinra and Celty were going away for the holidays, and he didn't really talked with Kadota except for the occasional greeting anymore. Tom had a family to spend the day with, Vorona had gone back to Russia.

And he really hadn't noticed that he expected to be that day with Izaya, fighting like always, until he realized he was alone for the holidays for the first time in years.

Maybe it was for the best. He wasn't sure. 

When the day finally came, he expected almost a tangible evidence of the change. He didn't. After Izaya left, everyone seemed to forget about him. You didn't hear his name on the streets, the urban legend just disappeared.

It drove Shizuo mad. If he closed his eyes, if he didn't see the scar on his chest, sometimes he questioned if Izaya had even existed at all in the first place.   
It shouldn't make him feel so abandoned. It shouldn't hurt him as much as it does.

_ “You're a monster, Shizu-chan, you're destined to be alone.” _

Who would have thought Izaya was the only thing keeping his own words from becoming true?

Shizuo put on a coat and climbed to the roof of his building, lighting a cigarette on his way. During the many years chasing the flea, he discovered sometimes the view from the roofs was calming, It was kinda beautiful, but seeing all those people on the street make him feel even more secluded.

Usually he wasn't one for regretting things. What was done was done, no use dwelling on the past. But he indulge a little of honesty, for the sake of not keeping lying to himself, even if he had to lie to the rest of the world.

He knew he was having this little epiphany far too late to make a difference. He closed his eyes and thought of that first Christmas. He thought of Izaya refusing to take off his coat, and how he annoyed him the entire day. But he allowed himself to also think of all he had tried to forget. Izaya giving him his cookies, since he wasn't really fond of sugar, and they being almost cozy side by side in the sofa.

He thought of the next year, when Izaya gave him a photo of the four of them he apparently convinced his sister to take during the school year. Shizuo told him he had burned it, the truth was he kept it safe in his apartment, away from prying eyes.

He thought of the last year, and the conversation they had.

_ “Do you want me to keep visiting you on Christmas next year, Shizu-chan? I know life must be terribly lonely for a monster.” _

_ “I'd prefer being alone that having to be with you, Izaya-kun.” _

And yet, Izaya eventually came back. And, contrary to the rest of the year, he never seemed in a hurry to shake off Shizuo on Christmas. He kept coming for years, and Shizuo never thought of asking himself what was behind all of that. 

He wondered what was Izaya doing, if he also felt alone. He wished he could ask him. After all the years, it was now he wanted to talk to the informant that had made his life a living hell. Really talk. Definitely, too late for that epiphany.

Only the wind and the night's sky were witness of the pain in his words.

“Shit, I really fucked up with him, didn't I?” 

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this was supposed to be pure fluff I do not know what happened.


End file.
